So, here's the story about how I lost my cell phone.



It's Saturday, St. Patty's Day, and I find myself in the restroom of Benders.  I've had a few pints at BW's and more here.
because it's March 17th and I, along with half the American population claiming Irish heritage, must make a pit stop.   So, you see where I'm going with this.  Yes- I dropped my phone in the toilet!  

Now, you're probably asking yourself, "What in the hell was he doing on his phone in the bathroom?"   No, I don't make it a habit of talking with people on my cell while I take a piss.   I like to try to capture the graffiti in public restrooms sometimes with my camera phone.   I know- It sounds weird, but there is some interesting stuff in Mens' rooms all over Massillon.   It'd make a great coffee table book.   I'm convinced.  What caught my eye in this particular bathroom was the fact that someone had it out for a guy who shares the same first name as I do.   (At least I think it's not me...)  Armed with a Sharpie and a vendetta, he/she had my name scrawled in vain all over the walls.  Apparently, this other "Shawn" was just plain "no good", while ironically being good at this one particular thing (which you can probably guess), and thankfully available for the ever-present "good time."   Not all graffiti is toilet humor, though.  There is the political.  The favorite band.   A famous quote.  The profound, like "A donut with no hole is not a donut.   It's a Danish."  You know that sort of thing.  

Anyway, back to my phone.  I knew I would need to buy a new one.   Once those suckers get wet- forget it.   What mattered now was that tiny little card in the back.  You know the one that stores every single friggin' number of every single person you know in the entire universe.   That card.   So, I'm staring through urine-colored water at my cell phone resting at the bottom of the bowl and I'm at a crossroads.  Do I stick my hand in there and retrieve it?  I say to myself, " You know there isn't going to be any paper towels or soap for that matter."  Then I come up with a plan.  I'll flush the toilet, and as the water escapes from the bowl, I'll reach down and snag my phone, free from germs and almost completely dry.  

No sooner do I hear that familiar flush sound, then my phone disappears.   Gone.  Halfway to the Tuskarawas River. before I can so much as bend over.  

Now, I have a new phone.  After the mail-in rebate and signing up for an additional 2 year contract (what a great deal), I'm back in action.   This one has a pretty cool digital camera- it requires two hands, so no multi-tasking if I'm compelled to shoot anymore graffiti!  I'm flipping through the channels at home trying to figure this thing out and I stumble upon a "Three's Company" marathon on Nick At Night.   Aahh the 80's! the Regal Beagle and Ralph Furley! and no cell phones.  Don Knotts looks like my grandma by the way- I mess you not.  Jack Tripper is on one of those big home phones with the long, spring-like cord.   You couldn't flush one of those things down if you tried.  Gone are the days when you actually had to memorize the phone numbers you called all the time.   Today we have address books, and e-mail, and Blackberries, and built-in cameras.   Speaking of digital, gone are the days when you actually had to drop your film off.   Do you remember that?  The anticipation of how your photos would turn out?  I miss those days.   I'm slowly but surely putting all those names and numbers back in.  I actually kind of enjoy the surprise of getting a phone call from someone- The not knowing who it might be when a random number appears on my screen.   It's sort of like developing your old film.  


It makes for a good story, anyway.  So, give me a PM sometime!!

The whole capturing bathroom graffiti is still a little out there.  

And bathroom toilets at truck stops and other places with bathrooms and the like are always a lot more powerful at sucking down stuff than a normal home one is.  

didi ya have a laugh?

Yeah.  I'm not sure what I'd have done if that happened to me.  haha

Good, I do enjoy making ye smile!